I think scott just propositioned me for sex
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
