I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
