Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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