so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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