Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
