I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
of course. lets lasso hookers.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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