omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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