What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't put those talents on a resume
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
