You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
