after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
