I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
