I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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