Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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