in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
