True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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