Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
