I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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