I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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