from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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