The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
