We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
