either way he was missing a nipple.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You dont lie about slip and slides
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
