I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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