on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
