You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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