the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
