She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
