New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
