If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i dont even know how to be here
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can I color on your dick again?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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