Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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