just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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