and next time when you feel me up, do it right
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
