When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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