apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
