you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
