I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
