As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize