ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
