please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Boobs speak an international language.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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