Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
