Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You made out with two different species that night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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