My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
