I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
