you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
