He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
