She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
