Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
