Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
