i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
