I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
