32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
