whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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