She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
