Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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