Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
