I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
