I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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