insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
